Local School Replaces Explosive Expo with Slightly Less Explosive Mario Kart Ride
OSAKA — The Shoganai Shimbun A junior high school from Chiba Prefecture has courageously chosen to protect its students from…
Author: Matsumoto Chadwick (松本チャドウィック)
Morioka Geisha Association Clarifies: Women Over 25 Not Banned—Just Not to Be Seen, Heard, or Acknowledged
MORIOKA, Japan — Following global criticism over its age policy allegedly inspired by “ancient Leonardo DiCaprian teachings,” the Morioka Geisha…
First-Year Student Still Clapping from Entrance Ceremony, Fears Social Repercussions of Stopping
KUMAMOTO — A local high school entrance ceremony has reportedly claimed its first victim of the new academic year, as…
Sushiro Wait Time Now Exceeds Human Lifespan at 2025 Expo
YUMESHIMA, OSAKA — The Shoganai Shimbun Visitors to the 2025 Osaka Expo are being encouraged to make peace with hunger…
Homeroom Teacher Mistakenly Thinks They’ll Leave at 5PM This Year
KAGOSHIMA — A local junior high school teacher reportedly spent the first day of the new academic year under the…
Methane and Misery: The 2025 Osaka Expo Experience™
YUMESHIMA, OSAKA — The Shoganai Shimbun Japan’s bold vision for the future has officially been gassed — literally. Just days…
ALT Already Regrets Enthusiasm Shown in First Staffroom Introduction
GIFU — A freshly arrived Assistant Language Teacher (ALT) began the school year with a high-energy, overly cheerful self-introduction this…
Osaka Expo Promises No Lines, Delivers No Wifi Instead
YUMESHIMA, OSAKA — The Shoganai Shimbun Organizers of the 2025 Osaka Expo have successfully redefined the phrase “no lines” —…
Girl’s Confession to Nonexistent Crime Leads to Real Promotion for Officer
HYOGO — In a bold new chapter for modern policing, officers in Hyogo Prefecture have secured a hard-fought confession from…
Geisha Age Limit at 25 From Ancient Japanese Teachings By Leonard DiCaprio
Morioka — The Shoganai Shimbun In a bold move to safeguard Japan’s rich cultural heritage, the Morioka Chamber of Commerce…