Nissan Employees Celebrate Another Year Without Ghosn – With Their Remaining 12 Yen Bonus
TOKYO – Nissan executives marked another year without Carlos Ghosn by reassuring employees that while profits remain nonexistent, at least…
Author: Matsumoto Chadwick (松本チャドウィック)
Ishiba Insists “Totally Not Bribes” Were Just Participation Trophies
TOKYO – Prime Minister Shigeru Ishiba remains unfazed by accusations of bribery after handing 15 first-year lawmakers stacks of cash,…
Japanese Incels Make Pilgrimage to Murder Scene to Ensure Dead Woman Knows She Had It Coming
TOKYO – In a powerful display of masculine fragility, local incels have taken it upon themselves to pay their final…
Japan Proudly Exports Diversity to Keep It Out of Japan
TOKYO – Inspired by comedian Yuki Nivez, who built her career rejecting tokenism, Japan has announced a Diversity Hire Exchange…
Japan to Export Badly Behaving Tourists in Bold New Economic Strategy
TOKYO – The Japanese government has unveiled a new initiative, “Misbehavior Tourism,” aiming to export unruly Japanese travelers to create…
Overconfident White Ramen Enthusiast Orders ‘Kochira de’ Like a Native, Still Gets English Menu
TOKYO – In what experts are calling a tragic yet predictable event, local part-time Nihonjin Mark Reynolds, 34, confidently walked…
ALT Who Did Nothing All Year Given Handmade Thank You Cards by Students Who Barely Spoke to Him
TOKYO – In a heartwarming display of forced sentimentality, local Assistant Language Teacher Chris Thompson, 27, was presented with a…
Japan Post CEO Apologizes for ‘No Makeup’ Ad, Immediately Asks Female Staff If They’re Smiling Enough
TOKYO – Japan Post’s President and CEO, Kinugawa Kazuhide, issued a formal apology for the company’s recent “No Makeup” advertisement,…
Gaijin Living in Japan for 15 Years Still Can’t Find Trash Day Schedule
TOKYO – Despite having lived in Japan for over a decade and a half, local Long-Term Tourist Jason McAllister, 42,…
Shibuya Braces for Imaginary St. Patrick’s Day Chaos While Ignoring Actual Tourist Swarms
TOKYO – As March 17 approaches, the Tokyo Metropolitan Police have deployed additional officers to Shibuya in anticipation of what…