HYOGO — In a bold new chapter for modern policing, officers in Hyogo Prefecture have secured a hard-fought confession from a 12-year-old girl — to a crime she didn’t commit, involving an incident that actually did happen. The department is hailing the operation as a “textbook case of preventative misunderstanding.”
The girl had originally reported a disturbing encounter in which a middle-aged man followed her — an event now confirmed to be real by people not wearing uniforms. But in a heroic three-hour interrogation marathon, officers successfully persuaded the child that her own memory was lying to her.
“She was very resistant at first, clinging to so-called ‘reality’ and ‘what actually happened,’” said Sergeant Hiroshi Tanaka, who was promptly promoted to Chief of Confession Acquisition. “But with firm persistence, strategic sighing, and the aggressive use of katsudon, we were able to wear her down.”
Police records show that the interrogation continued without a lawyer, parent, or common sense present. The girl was then instructed to write an apology letter confessing to fabricating the truth — an innovative legal maneuver known internally as a reverse victimization protocol.
Heroism in the Face of Evidence
Tanaka’s superior praised his work:
“We value officers who get results. And when those results are wrong but delivered quickly, that’s even better.”
To reward his ability to achieve 100% closure on crimes that didn’t need resolving, Tanaka received a formal promotion, a novelty pen, and a limited-edition “No Evidence Needed” lapel pin.
Confession Quotas and ‘Youth Crime Simulation’
The Hyogo Prefectural Police recently launched a new policy initiative titled “Youth Crime Simulation,” wherein children are gently guided through the criminal justice system whether they need to be or not.
“We’re training the next generation of citizens to cooperate efficiently,” said department spokesperson Reiko Morimoto. “And nothing teaches compliance like being forced to admit you lied about something that actually happened to you.”
Sources inside the department say officers have struggled to meet monthly confession quotas following a nationwide decline in actual crimes, prompting a “more imaginative approach to justice.”
Filing the Original Complaint
When pressed about the original complaint — which has now been confirmed to involve a real stalker — police stated it had been “filed in the appropriate circular cabinet,” believed to be a trash can.
An internal memo later clarified the situation:
“In light of the confession, there is no longer a crime to investigate, and therefore no criminal. Which means, in hindsight, the stalker was innocent.”
The 12-year-old has since been enrolled in a government-sponsored program to “reflect on how her truthful account disrupted administrative harmony.”
以下はAI翻訳であり、もちろん100%正確です。
存在しない罪を自白させた警官、実在の昇進を勝ち取る
兵庫県 — 警察の捜査力が新たなステージに突入した。兵庫県警は、実際に起きた事件について、何も悪くない12歳の少女から「でっち上げた」との自白を獲得し、見事に事件を“解決”した。署内では「捜査しないで事件が解決できる時代がついに来た」と喜びの声が広がっている。
少女は当初、中年男性に付きまとわれたと交番に相談。後にこの通報は事実だったと確認されたが、警察は3時間に及ぶ取り調べの末、少女に「自分が嘘をついていた」と信じ込ませることに成功した。
「最初は『事実』とか『被害者の権利』とか、そういう面倒なことにこだわってましたね」と語るのは、今回の功績により**“供述取得・青少年錯誤対応課長”**に昇進した田中弘警部補。「でも、ため息と沈黙、そして伝統の“カツ丼提供”で、なんとか正常に戻してあげました。」
取り調べには親も弁護士も、常識も同席しておらず、少女はその後「虚偽申告」を謝罪する手紙まで書かされたという。
フィクションで昇進できる社会へ
田中警部補は、「12歳相手に現実をねじ伏せた功績」が評価され、さっそく昇進。表彰式では、固い握手とファミマのギフト券、そして「証拠より自白」記念トートバッグが贈られた。
上司は「我々は効率を重視している」とコメント。「捜査も証拠も要らない。想像力こそが正義の源です。」
教育的取り調べプログラム「少年仮想犯罪体験」
兵庫県警は近年、未成年者に「法の重み」を前もって感じさせるための教育的取り組み「少年仮想犯罪体験プログラム」を導入。事実に基づくかどうかは問題ではなく、「反省を促すきっかけ作り」が主目的だという。
「これは処罰ではなく教育です。いわば司法コスプレですね」と広報担当の須田恵子氏。
なお、実際の加害者については「文書は適切に処理済み」とのこと。取材班が「それはシュレッダーでは？」と尋ねたところ、「ご想像にお任せします」と答えた。
正しかった少女に“反省”を促す国家プログラム
少女は現在、事件から“更生”するために「省察トレーニング」に参加中。自分の正しい通報がなぜ組織を混乱させたのかを深く考えさせられているという。
「彼女は恵まれてますね」とある警官は語る。「普通は大人になるまで、こんなに理不尽を味わえないですから。」
